I used to paint things, now I use words

I'd generally paint in oil, but I had to do some watercolor in college. This was probably my favorite watercolor painting. (Yeah, I painted that!)

I know that "a picture is worth a thousand words," but I do have an MA in writing. So I think I get a little more out of my words than some other people out there.

I tried to get my students to do that today in class. I'm teaching about writing descriptive pieces, so I had them do a little exercise. I had wooden blocks, and I got three student volunteers. (I had three guys do it first.)

One student sat at one end of a table, and another was at the other end. I put the little podium between them so they couldn't see what the other was doing. They had exactly the same blocks. Then the third student described what one was building so that the other could build the exact same thing. We did it once with three guys, once with three girls, and once with a mixed group.

Nobody really got it exactly. But they all came close.

I asked them, "So what did you learn from this?"

One girl said, "Word choice is important."
I said, "Exactly. 'Flat' and 'sideways' might not mean the same thing to one person as they do to you."
A guy said, "I thought it was hard to say what I was thinking so that the other guy would understand it."
I said, "You mean, you had a hard time catering to your audience's needs?"
He said, "Yeah."

So I have them thinking about a piece of art they want to use for their descriptive paper. We'll see if they can turn that picture into a thousand words. (Okay, at least 500.)

Time to Make the Donuts!

So you know that I talk to Java Josh over at @DunkinDonuts on Twitter. (You can learn all about that from the blog post I did for Solid Cactus.)

Well, they sent me stuff!

I got a FedEx package on Friday. Inside the box, was a Dunkin Donuts box. Like the boxes that they put donuts in. Classy.

Inside that was a cool t-shirt and travel mug.

Needless to say, I was beyond excited.

It really geared me up for my first day teaching at the community college. I mean, how can you go wrong when you have such a kickass coffee mug?

(Oh, and the shirt in the picture... I REALLY want that one.)

These are our stories

Just a quick thought about stories.

The other night I was at my in-service for the community college. I ended up sitting by someone I went to college with. He’s teaching there, too. (Same class and time as me, also. We’re going to tag-team!)

Anyway, he asked how I was. I knew how he was. He’d been married and divorced in the two years since I’d seen him last.
He’d moved from PA to NC and back to PA.

But how was I? Well, I told him I dumped my boyfriend about a year ago.

Best thing I ever did, I told him.

“Why is that?” he asked.

Well, I thought about it. And I said, “I have done so much in this last year. I’ve accomplished things I wanted to accomplish. I’m proud of myself. I didn’t do anything when I was with him. He was a slug, and he turned me into a slug. It makes me wonder what I could have done with myself in those five years I was with him.”

“Don’t think like that,” he said.

Why not?!

He said, “That’s part of your story. That made you who you are. You know what you want now, and you needed that experience to get you there. Don't try to erase it or re-write it. Would you be here now if all that hadn't happened? How can you know?”

Fair enough.


And this is unrelated, but I liked it.
I was at church today and the priest made the best analogy ever.
“We are all puppies in God’s eyes.”

Emotional Vampires? Ahh!!!

Some people just insist on sucking your soul out. They don't all know it, but that's just what happens.

The important thing, of course, is to check yourself and make sure you're not one of the energy suckers. I read this article about Energy Vampires, and it got me thinking. Do I do these things to people?

Do you?

The article starts out like this: “Insecure people drain other people's energy. Symptoms felt, after dealing with an energy vampire are, weakness, impulse to eat, headaches, low energy.”

Crap, I know people have made me feel like that before. Some people just sap my energy and make me want to eat. (Is that why I can't fit into my skinny jeans?)

(Upon further consideration, I can't fit into my skinny jeans because I've gained, as Daniel says, “ten pounds of laughter.” Nobody's fault but my own.)

I like how the article breaks down the different types of “Energy Vampires,” too.

1. Sob Sister, Blamer, Drama Queen. People like this constantly talk and blow things out of proportion. Sob sister blames the world, blamer somehow makes YOU feel guilty, and drama queens are just huge energy vacuums that are energized by chaos.

   We all know people like this. But how do we deal with them? Especially the drama queens, because they're absolutely unbearable.

2. Constant Talker, Fixer Upper, Outwardly Nice Socializer. Constant talkers are addicted to their own voice. (Am I one of these?) A fixer upper needs you to fix all of their problems. And the outwardly nice ones are the worst! There's nothing like passive-aggression to really make you feel like crap. If you're pissed off, just tell me you're pissed off. Fake nice sucks.

3. The Go-for-the-Jugular Person, the Unintentional Sapper. The former here likes to put others down. And I'm sure everyone is an unintentional sapper from time to time. If I'm stressed out, I might stress other people out. I don't mean to, it just happens.

And most people really don't mean to, I think. The drama queen doesn't realize that she's the drama queen.

What should you do if you feel like someone is sucking your energy away? Or if the thought of talking to this person just stresses you out?

Um... if you don't have to talk to them... Don't!

Seriously, a friend is someone that makes you feel better about yourself— not worse. So limit the time you spend with people that make you feel crappy. Spend more time with the people that make you feel super-fantastic-awesome.

If you have to talk to these people, try to control the conversation. Say, “I've only got five minutes to talk.” Or, “I'm running to the bathroom now.”

If an energy sucking person starts talking about something you don't want to talk about, just say so. “I'm sorry, I don't want to talk about your wife's hangnail anymore.”

I guard my personal space like it's going out of style. I'm not a hugger. I hate hugging, actually. If I initiate a hug with you, then it's a big deal. Physical contact is valuable to me. I'll only give it to someone I really care about. (And I mean REALLY care about.)

How can you tell if you're an energy vampire?

Well, check out this article. It lists some major warning signs.

Like:

• You state your opinion like it's fact

• You complain endlessly about your problems

• You throw pity parties

• You wield guilt like a weapon

• You spread fear around

• You're stubborn (I especially liked the example she gave for this one. Read it!)

We are all like that sometimes. And it's cool to be a little Dracula.

But in moderation, please.

Take A Minute to Laugh

Sometimes I think we forget how important it is to laugh. We need to laugh at ourselves, at (well, with) one another, and at the world around us. There's humor in everything, and there's nothing wrong with getting a little bit of joy out of life. I spent a lot of time laughing last night, and I feel really good about it today. (So what if most of the laughing was at the expense of Swamp People?)

It's all about finding humor in your life. When someone says, “That's your boyfriend? I thought he was your father,” don't get angry at her. Just laugh. Instead of complaining about life's frustrations, try laughing about them. People are going to do what they do whether we react or not. So we might as well react in a positive way, right? No sense being a jerk. We always say, “Someday we'll look back on this and it will all seem funny.” But why can't it be funny now? Think of how it will sound as a story that you tell your friends. Laugh about it. When you keep thinking that way, you'll end up being more lighthearted and silly. Approach life with a healthy dose of mirth and you'll be less stressed with just about everything. And laughter is healthy!

It's totally fine to fake it. You know that studies show that the positive effects of smiling occur whether the smile is real or fake, right? Well I'm sure the same applies to laughter. Smile more, fake laughter, and you'll still see some positive effects. (Hell, the fake happy might even lead to real happy.)

So why exactly is laughter beneficial to us?

Well, it reduces the level of stress hormones like epinephrine, dopamine, and cortisol. It also increases the level of endorphins and neurotransmitters. And, seriously, how great do you feel after a good laugh? It's a physical and emotional release (that's second only to an orgasm, really. Wow, imagine laughing during orgasm). And laughing can strengthen your ab muscles!

Laughter connects us with others. And it's probably the most contagious things out there (next to lice and herpes). So if you start laughing, you'll get others around you laughing.

Look, I know I have a bunch of goofy laughs. Sometimes I have a really deep belly laugh, and other times I think I literally howl like a hyena. But it doesn't matter— it's my laugh.

I found this really cool link to different Laugh Sounds. What are you? Are you song-like? Grunt-like? Or snort-like?

If listening to these laughs doesn't make you laugh yourself... then there's something way wrong with you.

But you can fix it! Try dancing the Cha-Cha, but keep the beat by saying “ho-ho, ha-ha-ha.”

Or practice laughing! Pay attention to your laughs. Do a “ho-ho-ho” laugh, then a “ha-ha-ha” laugh, then try a “hee-hee-hee.” See when you use the different types of laughs throughout the day. Do you “ha-ha-ha” at certain times and “ho-ho-ho” at others?

If all else fails, Farts are Funny.

Simplify, Please?

Now that I'll be teaching at the community college, I've got way too many different emails that I'll need to check.

Let's break it down:
-personal email
-work email
-school email
-school WebCT email
-community college email

How am I supposed to keep up with all of this? What if something important goes to one that I haven't checked? There must be a way to simplify all of this.

There wasn't a grand point to this, but I'm pretty sure I'm not the only one with this problem.

Carpe Diem

Before I started my MA program, I had to keep a “journal” for a month. Just writing anything, really. Here’s the entry from June 4, 2008.

I’ve heard a lot of

-CARPE DIEM-

Today.

(Largely because I watched Dead Poets Society, but bear with me)

I helped stack the kiln.

I wanted all my pots to fit.

“I need a short one.”

“I know I have one of those.”

Kiln space is valuable.

Carpe KILN.

Carpe the diem kiln.

I don’t know when the next firing is.

So I took it.

Then I watched that movie.

It was about being what you have the potential to be.

Not what they told you to be.

Is it as simple as that?

I want to be an artist.

“But there’s no money in that!!!”

So I’ll write, then.

“Well at least that’s MARKETABLE.”

This is free, see.

Art school was not free.

THANKS FOR THE UNIVERSITY JOB, DAD!

It’s okay.

This is art.

I can’t touch it and feel the paint

Or clay

Or textile—

But it’ll work. It’ll have to.

Besides—I have a knack.

(I won a scholarship for it…

The day AFTER my dad got our tuition remission agreement)

So I have to carpe this diem.

Seize this day.

Smell these rosebuds

(While I may).

Or at least until I graduate

(For real, this time)

And have to make a living.

Can I still have an art studio?

Or is this supposed to be all-consuming?

I don’t want to be pigeonholed.

Let me paint on this paper.

Until I read that, I forgot how unhappy I was about the whole MA program. I didn’t want to do it. Hell, I spent a lot of time during the program bitching about all the reasons why I STILL didn’t want to do it. I always felt out of place, and I didn’t think anyone (except Becky) took me seriously.

But I stuck it out, and I’m so much better for it.

Seems like everything happens for a reason.