Competition is healthy. It's what drives us to excel. But what's the difference between “competing to win” and “competing to excel”?
When we compete to win, we're trying to basically outperform and dominate others. Competing to excel, on the other hand, is about surpassing our own personal goals. Obviously, the latter offers us more benefits than the former. When we compete to better ourselves, we're going to end up having higher self-esteem and we'll be less depressed.
Granted, there's something to be said for experiencing a little bit of victory every now and then. It's healthy. Competition is healthy. But it shouldn't be all we're setting out to do. We have to realize that everyone out there is valid. I'm no more valid than you are. Just because I can do one thing better than you doesn't mean I'm an all around better person. We're all good at something. So we should be competing with ourselves—not against one another—to improve these skills.
There's no need to put ourselves in situations that make us unduly anxious. There's no need to put ourselves in situations that interfere with our performance, creativity, and poise.
But, like I said, a little bit of competition is good. It teaches us to be gracious, humble, and to accept the bitter pill of defeat with a bit of pride.
That's how kids are growing up these days, though. Grades are the main focus of school. Grades and those horrible standardized tests. Then we have youth sports leagues. What's the focus there? The focus is on getting the trophy. The crazy parents on the sidelines screaming at kids for every little thing that goes wrong out on the field. Like I've been saying, competition is good. But it's got to come from within a person. What's a kid going to learn if the focus is solely on the outcome? Isn't the journey half the fun?
If we don't enjoy the game, we shouldn't have to play it.
You are so right. When I was a teenager I was forced to participate in a competition against a girl I had loved since we were children. I wanted her to do well in the game, but only one of us could win! I would have sacrificed my chance at victory for her, but she decided that we should both quit the game.
ReplyDeleteAfter that I would sacrifice myself for her happiness despite the fact that she couldn't seem to choose between me and another boy. I was a huge pussy then.
Now I've finally learned to do things for myself, without the weight of expectation. As a stranger to you who stumbled upon this blog recently, I have to tell you that I find your words very inspiring.
And boy, you sure are smart!